Saturday, February 19, 2005

friends forever?

to you :
okays.i hope u r reading these now.i mean alone.yeah.the reason why i'm writing this stuffs here now is bcos i cant find any easier way to tell you these.cant be on the phone cos it's too awarkd for me.i tried thru sms-ing you but i failed too,bcos you told me you were busy.well,so yeah,i'm going to tell you now.

sigh.have u ever feel that everything is changing?i mean btw you and me.the friendship we used to have.maybe you feel nth.but to me,it's lyk part of my life.you are the one i totally trusted.i guess you shld noe by now that every secret i have,be it good or bad,you are the first to noe.i have long regarded you as my best friend for seven years plus.yeah.you also assured me that i'm ur best friend too.yeah.tt's when both of us swear that we are gonna be friends for a lifetime.but i guess,it's just a phrase you said out of ur mouth too fast bcos i realised you never meant those words.but as for me,when i said friends forever,i meant it.i swear.

anyway i guess the reason why we are falling apart is that you saw too many flaws in me.that is why u're distant away from me.i m always the one initiating,asking you out etc..but u rejected me always.

ever since both of us start working,our friendship had bcome more and more fragile.yeah.i know i must have caused alot of troubles for you and ur mum regarding the job in amk.i dun meant it anyway.i tot i cld just hang on.but i'm sorry cos i cant.bsides that i even urge the supervisor to reuturn my pay.but i m patient enough to wait for 2 weeks ok.at least i waited.but somehow i feel insecured cos i scared e company will run away so i keep urging after waiting for 2 weeks plus.i'm oso pressurlise by my dad cos he keeps nagging at me.i felt so annoyed and pissed off.so yeah...i went to quarrel with the supervisor.guess i left you a v.bad impression.the next thingy is when i'm working in sportslink.me and my toopid temper.yeah.i admit tt i dun ever tink for the company bcos i dun tink there is a need to do so.the ppl there was'nt gd.seriously,i cant tolerate it loh.tt's why i always give attidude to the boss.he even scolded me at times with no apparent reason.that even makes me more pissed off.yeah.den after 2 weeks,i quitted bcos i really dread working dere.you were disappointed with me.you tried to tell me wat wrong i m in,but i refused to listen bcos i tink i'm right.once again,we quarreled.it totally ruined our friendship from now on.

sigh.i really wish that everything can renew.hope we can travel back to the past where we were once so close and gd.but i guess it's impossible.you have seen all my flaws.you have realised that i'm not a gd friend.not worthy for you.you have found a better friend to replace me.but ya noe wat?i'll nv find anybody to replace you as my best friend.bcos you are the one i promised to be friends for eternity.and to be there at my wedding.it's okay.i understand it.i'll not bother you anymore.thank you for being there for me when i need you.i just cant lied to myself that everything is alright.i just cant pretend that i'm fine.i guess that's all i have to say.

When I'm lost in the rain,
In your eyes I know I'll find the light
To light my way.
And when I'm scared,
And losing ground,
When my world is going crazy,
You can turn it all around.
And when I'm down you're there
- pushing me to the top.
You're always there,
giving me all you've got.
For a shield from the storm,
For a friend, for a love
to keep me safe and warm
I turn to you.
For the strength to be strong,
For the will to carry on
For everything you do,
for everything that's true
I turn to you.
When I lose the will to win,
I just reach for you and
I can reach the sky again

Saturday, February 19, 2005

friends forever?

10:26 AM

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