Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Below is the phone conversation between me & him.Me : so you guys having lesson now? ( in a shock as i realised lesson starts at 2pm & i mistook that it starts at 3pm)
Him : yeah, we're having class now.
Me: OHMY! i forgot there's class! ( heaved a big sigh!) So there's bizfin lecture later on?
Him: yeap there is.
Me: okay lor, i think i'm not going for the lecture liao. ( cant digress that i actually miss efma tutorial)
Him: okay lor, then dont go lor.
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As i still cant digress the fact that i miss the efma tutorial for no apparent reason & no one bothers to text me and ask about my whereabouts; i decided to text him back.
Me: ohman, i miss my efma tutorial liao. how come u didnt tell me eh!
Him: how i know you didnt know there's lesson today. you go see lesson plan,dont have etutorial today what.
Me: Nvm, thank you.I'm irriated. at the back of my mind, i'm thinking, what kind of friend is this -.-" . it just hits me back to reality that poly friends are just friends. friends that comes & go. so what i've expected all along have come to pass & now i know that i really need to watch out for myself. i know i shouldnt be making this remark but it's true, isnt it? this incident sounds no big deal but in actual fact, it reveals alot on how our friendship means to the other party.
roaar. i guess i'm bearing this little seed of bitterness in my heart & i just can't help but to keep rambling about it. God, why did u show me the other side of my classmates? i feel utterly disappointed though i noe partially i'm to blame for not attending the class due to my own mistake. but aye, disappointment! really disappointed. to think that i appreciate you so much as a friend,ha.
FORGET IT.
On the lighter note, i had lunch with meiying today. As usual, we talk about school & everything under the sun. Unbelievably, i shared my life story. One big step that i have crossed, really. a breakthrough for me to tell people about my life. as i'm sharing with her about the trials & difficult times i went through, i recalled how God was there for me,so faithful. so much emotion stirred withnin my heart & so many thanksgiving i want to give to God ! ( : it's amazing how i can come so far, how i can tide through the difficult times,really. As i look back, i know it's not by my strength but by His. the miracle maker.
I want to be faithful with the little things God has entrusted to me. Trust me, i'm trying to be. & for this year, the only christmas present i asked for is ........ *drumroll* ....... ________ to cross over the line of faith & be my sheep. whaaha! God, can give me?
Cry in my heartThere's a cry in my heart
For Your glory to fall
For Your presence to fill up my senses
There's a yearning again
A thirst for discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper
Could You take me beyond?
Could You carry me through?
If I open my heart?
Could I go there with You?
[For I've been here before]
[Yet I know there's still more]
[Oh Lord I need to know You]
For what do I haveif I don't have you Jesus?
What in this lifecould mean anymore?
You are my rock
You are my glory
You are the lifter of my head
6:27 PM